I’ve often been told I am cool and calm and that people have never seen me angry. No matter how calm and peaceful you think you are, we all have moments of anger. When you’re a caregiver for someone with dementia, anger is often the normal response to a situation. Now anger isn’t always a bad thing of course, sometimes anger is a perfectly normal response to a situation.
Often times that anger… (justified or not) comes back to haunt us. This is especially true if we don’t know how to manage or deal with it. What I realized I had to learn is how my anger affects my abilities as a caregiver to my mom.
No matter what set you off, anger can be problematic in a few different ways. Here are 3 major ways that anger harms you:
Anger Negatively Affects Your Mood
No matter how good you are at controlling your anger, there is a chance that it’s going to negatively affect you. Have you ever been so angry that you couldn’t shake the feeling? The longer you struggle with anger, the more chance there is that any little thing will set you off. ( just ask my partner ohhh he’ll tell you)
Harboring anger will also make you more prone to losing focus. It’s hard to focus on tasks and goals when you are consumed with anger. Have you ever tried to get some work done when you were still stewing with anger? It ain’t easy.
Anger Negatively Affects Your Health
Anger can even physically affect you in the form of headaches, chest pains and increasing your cortisol (stress hormone).
When your anger leads to stress, it can be hard to control. You’ll be more likely to perceive the slightest thing as a threat. And this triggers more anger, which triggers more stress. You’ll be trapped in an emotional cycle that’s hard to break.
Anger has even been shown to affect our healing
According to a study from Ohio State University, people who can’t control their anger tend to heal more slowly. Another study from Harvard showed that high rates of anger lead to breathing problems, and higher rates of decline as they aged.
Anger Negatively Affects Others
There are few things more awkward and uncomfortable than being around an angry person. Even if other people aren’t the target of your anger, you will still likely be short or dismissive of them.
Have you ever lashed out at someone for little or no reason? If so, then your anger is negatively impacting the people around you.
Anger isn’t a valve that we can just shut off, but it is something that we can manage. If your anger is affecting you in negative ways, then it’s time for you to sit down and figure out ways you can deal with it.
So what do you think. In what ways does your anger affect you as a caregiver? Comment below. Let’s work through this.